In our 2 plus years in Switzerland, we've really tried to adapt to the Swiss way when it seemed reasonable. We schlep our empty bottles and cans around town looking for recycling centers. We throw out a "GRUETZI!!!" greeting in our best fake Swiss accent. I even try to turn my car off the second I park so no little old lady will knock on my window to yell at me in Swiss German about how my car is stinking up the environment. But there are few things the Swiss do, that make about as much sense as a vegetarian at a sausage festival. Okay, actually there are a LOT of things they do that seem pretty ridiculous. But last night, I experienced one that made me want to scream in my not so reserved American way, "WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU CHEESE EATING, COW LOVING, BUZZ KILLS!!!!!" And I can be silent about it no more.
Last night, Bryan and I and some friends returned to our 1980's teen angst past, and partied like it was 1999. We joined a stadium full of Swiss Prince fans to enjoy what we knew would be a great show by my favorite 5'2" purple pants wearing performer. I had been jamming to Prince's Greatest Hits on my iphone all week and was fully prepared to hoot, holler, dance and sing my over enthusiastic American Ass off at the Hallendstadiom in Zurich. With songs like, "Let's Go Crazy!" and "Little Red Corvette", I just new it was going to be a wild evening and we were going to help Prince ROCK THE HOUSE!!!!!! However, it seems our fellow Swiss Prince fans had other ideas......
I was really curious about what kind of crowd the former "formerly known as" artist would draw. I envisioned lots of people in crazy purple outfits and big 80's hair. Let's be honest, Prince is a little out there and he's bound to have a few whackjob followers over here in Europe. But when we got to the stadium, it became apparent that the crazies either couldn't afford the exorbitant 135 franc ticket price for mediocre seats, or they too had matured into conservative looking 30 and 40 somethings who could still recite every last lyric to "Purple Rain". Either way, eclectic was not the word I would use to describe the the crowd of people quietly waiting in line to enter the stadium.
After making it into the stadium, we realized we only had about 10 minutes until concert time. So we headed directly to our section to find our seats. As we walked down the crowded hallway, I saw I sign up head that read, "STOP TINNITUS". Yikes. Tinnitus does NOT sound like a disease for the faint of heart. I figured they must be collecting donations for this horrid life threatening disease. Perhaps this was Prince's big cause that he supports and all those poor children around the world suffering from this horribly debilitating illness idolized his for being their spokesperson. It was so touching to see the line of people waiting to donate to this worthwhile cause. As we approached, I noticed that people seemed to be taking something from the very serious looking woman who was doing her part to stop tinnitus. Then I noticed below the STOP TINNITUS sign was a website, www.earplugs.ch. Hmmmmm.....perhaps Tinnitus is a disease that strikes young children deaf in third world countries? As we approached the sign, the woman handed us a small box. We opened them to find a pair of very high quality ear plugs. Huh? What the......?
Apparently, Tinnitus is not a life threatening disease found in third world countries. It's actually an annoying ringing of the ears that effects concert goers that sit a little too close to the speakers. Earplugs at a concert? Did they really think people were going to wear these? Really, this was ridiculous. No one in their right mind would go to a concert wearing earplugs. Don't get me wrong, I grabbed a free pair and tucked them away in my purse. These fabulous little plugs were going to make future road trips with the kids a LOT more enjoyable. But wear them at a concert? I'd rather suffer the horrors of tinnitus.
After having a good laugh about the complimentary earplugs, we grabbed a beer and headed to our seats. It was a pretty packed stadium, and our seats were decent. I scoped the concert goers around us to see if we might be in for wild evening. There didn't appear to be any drunken concert goers nearby who might spill their beers or stumble into us as they partied the night away. In fact, everyone seemed pretty subdued. Actually VERY subdued. But I knew that it wouldn't take long for Prince to have these middle aged party animals dancing in the aisles.
When the concert finally started abput 30 minutes late, the lights went down, the crowd started to make some noise, and we prepared to jump up and get our Prince on. This is when many of the conservative Swiss concert goers began to put their Tinnitus Prevention Plan into place. You wouldn't believe it if you saw it. They opened up their box o' earplugs, and inserted said earplugs in their ears. Ummmm......did they not pay the same ridiculous amount of cash for these seats as we did? Why would you buy ridiculously overpriced concert tickets and then wear earplugs to muffle the sound? This was madness. But not nearly as maddening as the fact that when Price himself came out on stage, everyone remained in their seats, earplugs inserted and stared at the stage like they at a Sunday Matinee. What!?!?!?!?!? We looked around in shock as everyone kept their asses firmly planted in their seats. The wildest ones swayed slightly in their seats while clapping with the enthusiasm of an Enya fan. Rather than make a scene, we remained in our seats stunned and bewildered as Prince opened with one of his newer songs. But when he transitioned into "Little Red Corvette", all bets were off. We jumped out of our seats and sang and danced like American fools. As I looked around the stadium, there were pockets of people standing up and enjoying themselves in true music loving style. It was hysterical to realize that most likely, these other scattered groups of party animals were probably foreigners as well.
Now, to their credit, the people seated directly behind us stood up soon after we did, and didn't once complain about us blocking their view. It fact, they seemed happy to be standing and may have been grateful that we broke the mold so they wouldn't be glared at as the cause of all this dancing mayhem. Unfortunately, the earplug wearing crew in front of us was not as amused by our normal American concert behavior. At one point in the evening, my friend C was hooting and hollering as Prince transitioned into a new song, when the very anal retentive girl in front of her yelled, "Will you PLEASE be quiet! I came to hear Prince sing, not you!" To which C replied, "It's a CONCERT! Go listen to Prince on your iPod for God's Sake!" I'm not sure whether she heard C's retort, because her fear of tinnitus had caused her to jam earplugs in her ears. Which may very well have been why she couldn't hear the music....... but it seemed ridiculous to argue with a woman wearing earplugs, so we all ignored her and continued enjoying ourselves.
At one point in the middle of the concert, I looked at the people in the two rows in front of us and just started laughing. There were 2 people sitting in front of the railing with their elbows resting on the railing and their chins in their hands. Another guy sat completely motionless during the concert and videotaped the entire thing from beginning to end. I wondered if he might secretly have gone home, popped the video in his dvd player, and gone nuts dancing and singing in the privacy of his own home. The crabby woman in front of us appeared to be at the concert with a date. You could tell when his favorite songs were performed because his head would ever so slightly bob up and down to the music. And a group of 4 people in the row ahead of us got up and left about 30 minutes into the show and never returned. Was our behavior really that bothersome? Clearly, if you had chosen to risk a severe bout of tinnitus, you could hear Prince loud and clear over our lame voices. And when Prince yells, "LET ME HEAR YOU SWITZERLAND!!!", isn't it poor manners not to belt out the lyrics? I'd hate to be rude......
Overall, Prince put on a fantastic show, and despite some of the dirty looks and rude comments, we had a really fun evening. I understand that the Swiss are a more reserved and conservative bunch than us outspoken Americans, and in most situations, I respectfully try to follow their lead. But when it comes to concerts, I'll always throw my earplugs aside, and proudly play the role of the loud American.
